Struggles

I've been struggling with how and if I wanted to share this...so here it goes.. We have been so blessed and we are so grateful for so much! We made it home Friday night and got to go to our favorite parade the "parade of lights." We had thanksgiving dinner with my family on Saturday and Chad's on Sunday. 

Here's the hard thing for me...It's not always easy staying so positive and collected during our struggles and hard times. As much as I am trying.. the past few days have been so hard for me. Yesterday at church our normally happy easy going baby had a really rough day! As I took him into the hall all I wanted to do was cry. He struggled all afternoon :( then half way into the night he began to gag and throw up, I was constantly in and out of bed. To top that off our Sadie threw up and keep throwing up several times through the night and then at 6 bray began throwing up. It's days like these that are so hard. All I want is some decent sleep. Is it too much to ask that my baby get better?! Normally when we leave the hospital after his belly being drained I feel fantastic knowing this won't happen again for severa weeks or even a month. This was not the case this time. Due to his complications, they couldn't drain as much out, which makes him still uncomfortable. He's still trying to adjust to his new feeding plan. One night is great and the next isn't. He won't take a binkie like used to since being in the hospital this time. All I can think about is when will he be admitted again? Will we spend Christmas in the hospital too? I sure hope not! This momma is having a hard time and I just want my baby better so we can have somewhat of a normal life again. Knowing harder days are ahead I can't even try to think about. My babe has been so happy and I'm not ready to see him get worse. I just pray to understand God's will and his timing.